Tired
by FrankieQuinn13
Summary: After twelve years of marriage to the supposed love of his life Severus is nothing short of miserable. Stuck in a union he can't escape Severus finds an interesting distraction for his depressing existence. slash rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yay another new one.**

**Not really yay, the plot bunny keeps attacking me and I don't know why. This is a SiriSev JamSev thing but neither one will be ending up with Severus. Just some fair warning. There will be some Lureissa (Lucius x Remus x Narcissa) later on so there's another heads up.**

**It's inspired by a song by Kelly Price called 'Tired'. Give it a listen its kinda sad.**

**Its set a couple years after the first war, the dark lord was defeated cause I don't want to have to deal with Voldie and Lily and James didn't die.**

**Apologies spelling grammar and OOCness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. Those rights belong to J.K Rowling.**

Sirius Black.

Twelve long years had passed and Severus was just short of miserable.

"What must Kreacher do with him Master Severus?"

The potions master glanced over at the elf that was bonded to him almost eight years ago, before returning his gaze to the unconscious wizard lying on the floor in front of the floo in Grimmauld place.

God how he used to love this man, he used to love him more than he could possibly stand. But now...

Now he feels nothing.

Severus slowly let his eyes run over the person he once saw as his beloved husband. He'd aged somewhat over the years but he was still young and still incredibly handsome. Wavy chocolate brown hair going down to his shoulders which were strong and broad, his frame was lean but still had the clear definition of muscle under his tanned skin.

But what Severus loved most was Sirius' eyes. Stormy grey that used to make his knee's weak without hesitation all those years ago, now Severus didn't care.

Severus stopped caring three years after they got married, when he decided to stop playing stupid because stupidity has never suited him. He stopped caring when Sirius' late night appearances with smeared in makeup and cheap perfume from whichever desperate slut he managed to bed became a regular occurrence. He stopped caring when the lies about being late because he had auror business to take care of got stale. He stopped caring when the shock of Remus appearing at his doorstep looking for Sirius, who was supposed to be spending the night with him, lost it's edge.

He stopped caring because it didn't matter.

The love he felt for Sirius was gone and nothing could bring it back. The only reason he hasn't left the moronic selfish bastard that is his husband yet was simply because he couldn't.

They were bonded, forever joined by an ancient spell from the Black family magic's. After the honeymoon phase of their so called marriage ended and Severus realised exactly what kind of man his husband was, the slytherin spent hours in the Black family archives looking for a way to end his torment and found that there was only one way to end their union.

Apparently the late mrs. Black had seen this coming and in an effort to get at least one heir from her children before they managed to drive their wife away, was that part of the charm that binded them, told that the only way to end their union would be for Severus to give birth.

Needless to say Severus gave up hope.

No matter how much he hated being married to Sirius, he'd never dream of bringing an innocent child into the sham he's forced to refer to as a family even if he'd get to leave afterwards. No doubt Sirius would try to keep him or her and Severus wouldn't let a child of his live a life not knowing him.

Severus raked a hand through his hair, making a note to wash and untangle it later. He'd changed a bit since they were younger as well.

He was still considered to be skinny, but he had filled out a bit so his skin wasn't hanging off of his bones like before. Severus had also let his hair grow out down to his back, even if it was so much more of a hassle when it was long. In his first year as the new mrs. Black, Severus cut his hair shorter than his normal shoulder length and Sirius used to tell him how much he liked his hair that way. So when Severus snapped out of his marital bliss, he let it grow as long as possible.

Severus almost sighed as he stared down at Sirius.

He was a mess, like he was every night that Kreacher or one of the other elves found him passed out in front of the floo or on the door step.

The brunettes hair was in a set of disarray, all the buttons of his white shirt were undone exposing a scarred and toned chest littered with red bite marks and what Severus guessed were fingernail streaks spreading around to his back. The auror reeked of alcohol and whichever whore he screwed this time.

It was absolutely despicable and yet, Severus couldn't bring himself to care. He's become completely numb, Sirius' escapades no longer made much of an in impact on him.

"Must Kreacher leave him outside with the dogs like last time?" The elf seemed to grin at the memory, but kept his head bowed down low in respect of his new master. "Master shouldn't have to share a bed with Sirius Black, Sirius Black must spend his night with outside like the other dogs."

Unfortunately Severus cringed at the thought, the last time he let Kreacher do as he pleased, Severus was forced to share a bed with a dog piss smelling mutt. Since sharing a bed was a mandatory clause in their marriage.

"No, just leave him here. He'll deal with himself in the morning."

"As Master Severus wishes." The elderly elf almost growled in frustration, but kept his gaze to the floor as his master slowly left the room and climbed up the stairs. "Would master like anything to drink before bed?"

Severus stopped mid step and gave a sigh, before he continued up to his study. "Tea."

"Yes master."

Kreacher disappeared with a pop and Severus continued on his way.

The potions master had an odd relationship with the slightly deranged elf. At first Kreacher couldn't stand him and made it a point of making his life in Grimmauld place as uncomfortable as possible. However as the years passed Severus and Kreacher somehow seemed to bond over their respective relationships with Sirius Black. Sirius treated Kreacher terribly although it wasn't entirely without reason and Severus suffered years worth of heartbreak at the animagus' hands. So Severus sometimes found himself going into heated rage's whenever Sirius did something to break the little bit of his heart that was left, while Kreacher edged him on.

"Again?"

Severus looked up to find himself at the top of the stairs and stared at the portrait of mrs. Black watching him with her dark eyes.

The woman only seemed to make a fuss whenever they had guests or Sirius was around. Although Severus didn't usually have guests over it did get a bit troublesome whenever Lily visited and the portrait started yelling obscenities on mudblood's and blood traitor filth.

Severus stared back and the woman sighed, "First he marries half-blood trash and now he's doing this."

Severus couldn't even manage a shrug as he walked away when he got to his study. It used to be Regulus' old room, but Sirius had it renovated so his new "wife" could have his own space whenever he had work to do away from school or just wanted to read in peace.

It was a no go zone that Sirius never got to step in. Not even when Severus still loved him.

The room was decorated in dark shades of brown and an enlargement charm had provided more than enough space for him to make potions and keep his ingredients as sterile as possible, while the rest of the room housed his vast collection of books and a black leather couch in front of a large fireplace.

The raven crossed the room and sank down into the couch and stared into the flames burning in the fire place that was charmed so the wood would ignite the moment he stepped into the room.

Despite Sirius' obvious infidelities, it wasn't all bad.

Things had cooled down somewhat since the end of the war, Severus worked as the potions professor at Hogwarts, the dark lord was defeated and Severus no longer had to worry about Lily or her son's safety anytime in the near future.

In fact quite a bit had changed with Lilian Evans.

After six years of marriage Lily and Potter decided to call it quits. According to the red haired woman, things just weren't the same between her and James. Sure she still loved him, but she was no longer in love with him and Severus was quite shocked to find that James apparently felt the same way. So they went their separate ways, deciding to ease their son Harry into the transition at an early age rather than pretending to be happy and dropping the news on him when he was older.

The change was slow but painless and since both parents still cared for each other even if it wasn't the same way as before, the court proceedings were free of the messy drama and petty disputes that usually go with divorces.

Severus raked a hand through his hair as he wished for what surely wasn't the first time that he could find a way to end things just as painless as possible.

Kreacher suddenly appeared in the room with a pop, carrying a silver tray that held a matching kettle, tea cup and saucer. Since Severus would never dream of polluting his tea with any kind of cream or sweetener.

"Kreacher has master's tea."

"Set it down on the table."

The elf scurried over to the side table beside the couch and poured out the steaming liquid into the cup before carefully setting it back down and handing the cup over to his master.

"Thank you Kreacher."

The elf looked up and beamed, exposing crooked off-white teeth and shining blue eyes. "Master is most welcome."

It was rare for a master of any elf to thank them, after all doing as they were told was expected of them it wasn't something to be thanked for. Sirius hated it when Severus thanked him, which is why he started doing it more often. It's times like these that Kreacher would find himself thinking back to his beloved master Regulus. The owner of the very room they were in, he's the only one that ever thanked him as well and in such times the elf would sometimes think that maybe his new master had married the wrong Black.

Severus took a deep breath as he let the tea's aroma fill his senses and a warm feeling of contentment filled the slytherin while Kreacher started rushing around the room, carefully arranging the piles of books and sorting the papers on the raven's desk.

Severus had been working on his lesson plans for the new year of school that was set to start in just a few months, when Sirius had made his noisy entrance and disturbed him so there was quite a bit to be cleaned up. Although it was frowned upon for an elf to clean in their master's presence instead of simply making sure that all was in order before the master entered the room, Severus insisted on it.

He found he enjoyed the routine and Kreacher would sometimes ask if something was important before throwing it out, so it helped in more than just one way.

As Severus sipped his tea he couldn't help but glance at the bookshelf on the other side of the room. There was a thick green leather bound book standing at the very corner on the row of many others and from that book a silver chain hung out the side.

He knew that chain well.

It belonged to a pure silver pocket watch he once held dear and kept close to his heart at all times. The same watch that Sirius had given him for their first anniversary and Severus used to love that watch as much as he loved the person who gave it to him, unfortunately that watch was obliterated on the same night that Severus' heart was and he opened his eyes to Sirius countless betrayals.

Its times like these when that little part of him, that insane pathetic and idiotic part of him, that still loved Sirius would wonder.

"Do you think he'd ever change?"

The elf paused from placing a fallen book back onto the desk and looked back at Severus, his master has asked him that question many times over the past few years. And his answer was always the same.

"Foolish, foolish, foolish. Fools can't change. Sirius Black is a disgrace to the Black name and Sirius Black will always be a disgrace. Master Severus saved the Black name. Master Severus deserves better."

Severus let out a deep breath, he's asked Kreacher that same question countless times, the elf always answered the same way but it never seemed to make Severus feel any better after all...

Who's the real fool?

The man that does foolish things,

Or the man that fell in love and married the fool.

**A/N: chapter end**

**I'm putting up two chapters today since I have no idea when I'll be able to update again.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: next one**

**Usual apologies**

**Disclaimer see first chapter.**

James Potter.

Severus crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at the man standing on the other side of the threshold.

Sure their rivalry had died down since he'd married Sirius, since the animagus insisted that they start getting along. And of course Lily had also done her part to make sure they were at least civil with each other since she got married to the arrogant git.

But being civil didn't mean that Severus had to like him.

"Potter."

The other man stared back before slowly letting his eyes rake over Severus and giving his long time victim a smirk. "Black. You're looking good."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

It was a new habit that Potter seemed to pick up shortly after he and Lily's divorce.

Sometimes he'd violate Severus with his eyes and offer the potions master some superficial compliment, other times he'd make a crude comment about Severus' appearance. And other times, when the man felt like doing something truly daring he'd go as far as to reach out and actually touch Severus without warning, naturally earning a vicious hex to the face from the slytherin.

Of course Sirius was always there when James came over, so Severus would brush it off as the gryffindor simply trying to annoy his best friend. Which worked rather spectacularly actually.

Sirius was always incredibly agitated after James' visits, so much so that Severus used to think that there might be even slightest chance that his husband still cared.

Only for the bastard to leave ten minutes later for an unexpected work emergency.

"He isn't here, so you might as well leave."

Potter's smirk grew, "I'm not here to see Sirius."

"Oh," Severus raised an eyebrow at the raven on the door step. "I wasn't aware that you were familiar with our elves but then again, I suppose it's important for one such as yourself to stay in contact with their relatives."

Hazel eyes seemed to narrow at him, causing Severus to smirk.

"Funny, but no. I only came here because I could never refuse my son anything."

"Son?"

Severus craned his neck to the side and saw a mop of black hair along with two emerald eyes behind a glass frame peeking around the taller man in front of him. Tiny little hands clutched James' deep brown cloak and held the material in front of his face as if to hide himself from Severus impassive stare.

The potions master sighed as he shut his eyes and prayed for patience, "I can see you."

The tiny hands seemed to grip the cloak a little tighter before a nine year old boy stepped out from behind Potter and kept his gaze on the ground for a good five seconds before looking up at Severus. He was a spitting image of his father, with the exception of his eyes.

"Good morning auntie Sev."

Severus' eye seemed to twitch at the name that the Potter look alike used. It was a poorly laid out prank on Sirius' part. Apparently Severus' husband seemed to think that his beloved godson should know the dynamics of their relationship and insisted that Harry refer to the potion master as his "auntie Sev".

A glare settled on the older man's face and Harry's face fell at the cold greeting and a slight pout started to form.

Severus looked away from the younger Potter, determined to not let the green eyes that clearly belonged to Lily get to him the way he knew they could.

"Exactly why are you here, Potter?"

James sighed as he reached into his robes and pulled out what looked like a tiny piece of glass until the wizard tapped his wand on it and the glass grew into a cup sized jar. The boy quickly grabbed the jar and held it out to his "aunt", making sure to look at anything but the older man's calculating eyes as he did.

Severus blinked at the contents he could see in through the transparent glass.

"Unicorn hairs?"

"Harry insisted." James swept his cloak open and shoved his hands in his pockets as he nodded towards his son. "He's had me running all over Diagon Alley looking for those."

"And why did he do that?"

"They're-" Harry paused and bit his bottom lip uncertainly as he visibly gulped. "They're for you auntie Sev. You don't have any right?"

Severus stared at the boy, trying to figure out exactly how Harry could possibly know such a inconsequential piece of information, when he remembered telling Lily about a potion he wanted to make but couldn't the last time she had visited him.

Harry was there with them, but the boy seemed so preoccupied with Sirius' old collection of muggle trinkets that Severus didn't even realise that the boy was actually paying attention.

If only his students were that perceptive.

Not being entirely sure how to handle the situation Severus stared at the boy for a moment more before taking the jar in his hands and giving an awkward cough. He's never been too fond of children, other than Draco that is. But the boy was trying, so why not give credit where credit is due.

"Thank you, Harry."

The boy's head snapped up, he gave Severus a beaming smile and he straightened up a little more, while his eyes seemed to glow with pride.

It scared him sometimes, how those emerald eyes always looked at him with nothing but complete admiration. No matter how many times he belittled the boy or glared at him. For some reason Harry adored him and he was constantly seeking his approval, but for the life of him Severus couldn't figure out why.

James frowned, "Why is it that you'll call Harry by his name, but I'm always just Potter or... something referring to a rather crude part of the human anatomy."

"Because you lack the intelligence and maturity that your son clearly has. You should watch Harry more often, perhaps you might actually manage to learn something."

Potters frown deepened, while Harry's smile only got brighter at the involuntary compliment. Regardless of the fact that his father was simultaneously being insulted.

"When will Padfoot be back?" James growled as he folded his arms over his chest in an effort to steer the conversation in a different direction. The hazel eyed wizard blinked when he saw Severus tense until the slytherin let out a deep breath.

"I don't know."

"You don't know." James' eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Well where is he?"

The potions master let out a snort as he shifted the jar to one hand while the other brushed a long strand of hair over his shoulder.

"Auror business."

The gryffindor paused.

Auror business, what auror business? Was there some kind of emergency he didn't know about? But he and Sirius are partners, so why doesn't he know about any emergency?

The hazel eyed wizard was about to ask, when he felt a sudden tug on his robes and looked down to find Harry with a glare that looked eerily similar to his mothers as he shook his head "no".

Giving a slight nod James looked up and gave Severus a smirk. Although the gryffindor almost faltered when he saw the distant look in Severus' eyes and saw Harry's face filled with concern as he stared at the potions master.

"Sirius should be more careful," James said making Severus look up at him with an arched brow. The auror stepped forward to lean against the door frame, while Severus kept still. Refusing to let his old school bully intimidate him like he used to.

"Leaving a gorgeous little thing like you home alone, someone might steal you away."

"Really?" Severus said in clear feigned interest. "And how would this person be."

"Handsome, intelligent, charming, absolutely fantastic in bed-"

"Well seeing as how I am yet to meet anyone with just one of those traits, I see no immediate threats." Severus said smugly as he took a step back before looking down at the younger Potter and letting his lips quirk up slightly. "Goodbye Harry."

"Bye auntie Sev." Harry chirped with a smile.

James opened his mouth to speak when the door was slammed in his face and the gryffindor was forced to take a step back lest his nose get bashed in.

The older man combed a hand through his hair as he stared at the door in slight shock until he looked down to find Harry's eyes twinkling with amusement, looking like he was just seconds away from breaking out in a fit of giggles.

"What are you grinning at?" James snapped half-heartedly while Harry just kept smiling. The wizard took his son's hand and spun around to leave with a huff.

"What was that look you gave me back there anyway?" He asked the nine year old boy who's expression seemed to fall as they left 12 Grimmauld place and made their way down the sidewalk.

"It makes him sad."

"What?"

"Whenever mum visits auntie Sev, he gets sad when you ask him about uncle Snuffles."

James stopped making the boy stop walking too and he crouched down in front of him. "Why does it make him sad?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know why, Mum says it's because uncle Snuffles works all the time even when it's late at night."

Works all the time?

Sure working as an auror can be a bit demanding, but surely Severus wouldn't get so bent up over a few lost hours a day would he?

"Are you sure Harry?"

Harry nodded with his hair flopping up and down, "Yeah, Mum gets really angry when they talk about uncle Snuffles too and she uses a lot of bad words like insu-uferably horny pri-"

"Alright, alright." James quickly put a hand over his son's mouth, making a mental note to tell Lily to censor herself more often.

Harry nodded before pulling his fathers hand away and tilting his head to the side in thought

Merlin he's so much like his mother.

"Dad, why does uncle Snuffles work so much if it makes auntie Sev sad?"

James paused as in thought as he tried to figure out what his best mate could possibly be up to.

Was Sirius cheating on Severus?

No, that can't be it.

Yes, Sirius isn't exactly the next poster child for fidelity, but he loves Severus doesn't he?

He'd never hurt him like that.

Would he?

"If I was married to auntie Sev," Harry suddenly started, pulling his father from his thoughts. "I'd be home all the time."

James smiled at his son before he shook his head, "Vying for his affections are we? Is that what this little trip was all about?"

A light blush spread over Harry's cheeks and the boy looked away, only making his father smile even more.

"Well you're not doing too badly, he certainly likes you more than he likes me."

"Really?" The boy blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Really. How about we get some honeydukes ice-cream for breakfast to celebrate?"

Harry frowned as he looked up at his father, "Mum doesn't like me to have sweets for breakfast."

The older Potter's smile widened and he stood up straight as that old gleam of mischief glowed in his eyes. He can ask Padfoot what's going on later.

"What Mum doesn't know won't hurt her."

**A/N:**

**So please review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ok next chapter.**

**I feel like Lily is very OOC in this**

**Usual apologies**

**Loved loved loved the reviews**

**Disclaimer see first chapter**

Lilian Evans, previously Lilian Evans Potter.

Severus' best friend for as long as he could remember.

Severus gave a snort as he stared down at the red headed woman laying sprawled out on the carpet in front of the fireplace in the living room. Lily's hair was spread out beneath her head and her light blue dress had pooled down to her waist as she swung her bare feet lazily above her head.

The raven smiled.

He used to love the woman in front of him before.

Before the scene in front of him would have had him blushing right up to his hair from unrequited love. He used to sit as close as he possibly could taking in her sweet strawberry scent, or stare at the girls creamy skin wondering how it would feel underneath his touch.

But that's before Sirius.

Before the rough hands that sent tingles all along his skin with just a touch and the deep scent of wood that drove him crazy.

Now he couldn't see her as anything more than his child hood friend.

His dear sweet Lily.

"It was dreadful Sev, you should have seen it." Lily laughed as she rolled over onto her stomach and slowly reached out towards the half empty bottle of wine just two feet away from her as she filled her glass. "We spent almost two hours in the freezing cold because he wanted to _'show me the magical wonder of the night'_."

Severus swirled his own glass of wine a bit before giving a low grunt into his glass. Despite the potionmaster's seemingly effortless grace, Severus was more than just a little bit drunk and it took quite a bit of effort to stop himself from falling off the couch and joining his best friend on the floor.

"That's what you get for fratenizing with a muggle."

Lily paused from lifting the now filled glass to her lips. "Don't go there. Besides he seemed alright when we met."

"No he was a blubbering idiot when you met, those two are in no way the same thing."

"Yes well, he was a sexy blubbering idiot." Lily sighed as she took a gulp of the deep red liquid in her glass, "He probably would've been a great shag."

Severus choked on his wine, the raven clutched the glass in his hands as his body rocked with convulsions. The potionsmaster took a few deep breaths before looking down at the woman on the floor who hadn't so much as batted an eye at his outburst.

"Lilian-"

"Don't Lilian me, its been six years since James and I'm more bent up than-"

"Lily please, I'd rather not know the details in the levels of your sexual frustration."

Unfortunately the redhead continued as if Severus hadn't even spoken in the first place, much to his dismay.

"For all his faults, James was fantastic in bed."

"Of course, he was." Severus gave a sigh as he leaned back into the couch and took a gulp from his glass.

"You know," Emerald green looked up at him as Lily tilted her head to the side and gave a mischievous smile, "If you weren't so insistent on hating him, I'm sure James would love to give you a little ride."

Severus gaped at his best friend until he set his glass down, "That's enough drinking for one night. Krea-"

"Don't you dare! We both know that damn elf hates me." Lily snapped as she got up on her hands and knee's and crawled up onto the couch beside Severus, resting her head on his shoulder. "Besides I'm not half as drunk as you think I am."

"Really?" The raven drawled, "Then you're just delusional. Perhaps a trip to St. Mungo's is in order."

"Oh shut up." Lily said as she slapped his arm and stared up lazily at the ceiling. "What is it with you anyway, one would think that after more than ten years your anger would have faded. I mean, I know that James doesn't hate you anymore quite the opposite actually."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I'm just wondering why you can't get over what James used to do to you, we were just children after all."

Severus groaned, "Its not as easy as simply getting over it Lily."

"Then what is it? You managed to forgive Sirius didn't you."

Severus gave a snort, "Yes I did. And look where that got me."

"Maybe you forgave the wrong man." The woman mumbled absently as she turned her head and looked up into Severus' eyes as she lifted a hand to brush a strand of hair away from his face.

The slytherin sighed, "Pointing out the obvious I see."

"And yet, you still don't see what I'm pointing at."

Severus frowned and looked down at Lily, "What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head before leaning over her friend to take his glass, spilling a few drops of the red liquid onto the floor as she slumped back onto the couch and drank from the glass. "Where is that bastard anyway, working late again?"

Severus shrugged as he took his glass back from the witch and took a sip, Lily gave a snort when the woman suddenly shot up and sat on her knee's as she gave her best friend a wide grin. "Maybe you should start working late as well."

The raven blinked in surprise, "What?"

Lily wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Severus almost growled. "Absolutely not."

Green eyes rolled in annoyance. "Why not?"

"I'm married _Lilian_."

"You're married to a cheating bastard _Severus_."

"So you're suggesting that I follow my husbands example?" The raven arched a brow at his best friend and she gave him a thoughtful look.

"Of course not, I'm just suggesting that you get out a little more." Lily's eyes softened and she took his glass to set it down on the floor before leaning up to take his hand. "You know I hate seeing you sad Severus and you've been miserable for years."

Severus sighed, "I'm not miserable."

"Yes you are." Lily growled impatiently as she gave him a glare. "Look I'm not telling you to go out and start shagging every bloke in London, just... Go out, flirt a little, have a good time. If you're forced to stay with Sirius then you might as well have a little fun when he isn't around."

The potionmaster stared at his best friend, "I repeat absolutely no-"

"Great! I take that as a yes!"

"What?"

"I promise we'll have fun. James has Harry for the weekend so we can start tomorrow night." Lily beamed as she got off the couch, the woman seemed to sway a bit as the alcohol started catching up to her and she steadily made her way towards the stairs. "I'm off to the loo."

Severus gaped and stared after Lily until he heard mrs Black shout from the top of the stairs.

"Disgustingly filthy little-"

Unfortunately the older woman seemed to forget that unlike sober Lily, drunk Lily really didn't give a toss about respecting the elderly, as the auburn haired witches response rang thought the entire home.

"Oh shut it you revoltingly decrepit old hag!"

"Why I never!"

"I never saw a more hideous excuse for wallpaper."

The raven groaned as he sank back into the couch.

He really didn't want to go bar crawling with Lily, but he couldn't deny that she did have a point. He's been miserably heartbroken for years and constantly wallowing in grimmauld place with nothing but house elves for company was starting to weigh heavily on his heart.

Plus Lilian isn't the only one who's sexual frustration had her bent up in unspeakable ways.

It's been years since Severus last let Sirius touch him. Not that the animagus hasn't been trying to fulfil his husbandly duties, he's actually been trying very hard indeed. But the fact of the matter is, Severus has never liked to share.

So why share his husband with Lord only knows how many countless whores?

Of course Severus has no intention of shagging some random stranger just to blow off a little steam, but that doesn't mean wallowing in self pity while Sirius is out having the time of his life does it?

Of course not, so maybe...

Maybe he could go just once.

**A/N: for some reason I had a lot of fun with this chapter.**

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: hey!**

**So super thrilled with all the reviews, I'm glad to be getting such great feed back. Now I got a review asking me if Sev ends up with Remus.**

**The answer is no, Severus will not be getting any wolf tail in this story. But he will also not be ending up with Sirius or James. Don't try to guess who because I won't tell you, but it's definitely not an OC.**

**Usual apologies**

**Disclaimer: see first chapter**

xxxxxxxxxxx

_"Sev!"_

_Severus had just stepped out of the library with his ratty old bag slung over his shoulder when he heard someone call out his name and he turned around just in time for a pair of lips to crash onto his._

_The slytherin let out a surprised yelp and brought his hands up to push the other away when the scent of wood breached his senses and shaggy hair brushed against his face, instantly making him relax._

_"Sirius."_

_Snape gasped out as a hand went up to the side of his face while the other wrapped around his waist drawing him flush against the gryffindor's body. Severus wrapped his arms around the animagus' neck when he realised that something about the kiss wasn't quite right._

_The lips that pressed against his felt bruised and somewhat rough, while the copper taste of blood lingered on the other's lips making Severus pull away and stare in confusion when his eyes went wide and he let out a startled gasp._

_"Sirius? What on earth happened to you?"_

_"It's nothing." Sirius said with a small laugh. "Quidditch practice just got a little out of hand."_

_Severus gave Sirius a look as his eyes ran over the gryffindor's usually handsome face._

_Light bruises that were slowly turning darker littered the animagus' tan skin, along with light cuts across his cheeks and forehead. While Sirius' lips were cut and bruised and the skin surrounding his left eye was slowly starting to gain a blue tinge._

_"Quidditch practice?" Severus asked as he looked Sirius over critically and the animagus gave him a smile._

_"Yeah, no big deal." Sirius lifted his left hand to brush his fingers against Snape's cheek, causing the slytherin to bring his attention to the bruised and possibly broken knuckles on the hand. _

_Severus stared at the hand for a moment before looking up and saying in a very dry tone, "You got in a fight, didn't you?"_

_Sirius' eyes widened a bit, "What of course no-"_

_"Was it someone from slytherin?" Severus interrupted smoothly, Sirius began to stutter and he knew._

_Severus took a deep silent breath as he pinched his nose in irritation. "Who was it? Avery, Mulciber... Wilkes?" _

_Sirius swallowed as his eyes began to glow with guilt, "No."_

_"Please tell me it wasn't Malfoy because if it is, then it's only a matter of time before we're both suspended."_

_"No."_

_Severus paused, "Then who-"_

_"BLACK!"_

_Severus turned around and felt his eyes go wide at what he saw. Blonde hair and green eyes pulsing with fury. The slytherin's large frame was tense with rage as he stomped down the hall, while a bandage of some sort covered his nose and dark bruises surrounded his eyes and lips._

_"Rosier. You picked a fight with Evan Rosier?!" Severus hissed as he backed away with Sirius behind him._

_"Yes." Sirius said as he stepped out in front of Severus making the slytherin glare at him._

_"Why in Merlin's name would you pick a fight with him, are you insane?!"_

_"He kept touching you." Sirius whined quietly sounding like a three year old, as he squared his shoulders and Rosier's growling got louder._

_"Touching me? When was he-" Severus' face twisted in confusion when it hit him and his glare returned, "Are you talking about divination? He was reading my palm you ignorant twat! Trelawny is the one who assigned partners, it's not like he was doing it out of his own free will."_

_"What about after class with his hands all over you?" Sirius glanced back with a glare._

_"He was helping me up after your 'best mate' knocked me down!" Severus ground out before something else clicked and his glare intensified. "What gives you the right to hit him anyway?! I'm not your property Black, you have no right to decide who can or can not touch me!"_

_"I don't want you getting hurt."_

_"I don't need your protection! I can't believe-"_

_A hand suddenly went over Snape's mouth and the slytherin scowled up at his lover when the hand was moved and Rosier was just ten feet away._

_"Severus love, can we talk about this later."_

_Severus looked back to find a very pissed off blonde headed towards them. "I hope he kills you, you idiotic dunderhead!"_

_"As long as you visit my grave everyday, then it's fine." Sirius whispered as he gave Severus a wink when a fist suddenly came hurdling to his face and he just barely dodged it. _

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lilian Evans needs to die.

Severus let out a pained groan as he braced his hands against the sink and kept his head bowed into the white porcelain bowl. Long raven hair fell all around his face in a dark curtain, causing some of the strands dragging in to the sink to get wet under the drops of water slowly leaking from the silver faucet.

Snape shut his eyes and took a deep breath as he tried to calm the vicious pounding in his head, while simultaneously willing away the nausea bubbling in his stomach.

Damn Lily and her insistent need to try and cheer him up.

If he had stayed at home then he wouldn't feel like someone has had him under a cruciatus curse for an hour.

Then again, staying at home last night wasn't exactly an option either.

It was a rare occurrence, but there were occasions when Sirius would take a night off from his philandering ways to spend some time with his beloved husband.

Those days were days that Severus hated the most.

Because when Sirius was home, everything would suddenly be the way it used to be.

Sirius would press a kiss against his cheek at dinner before sitting beside his love and staring at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world. Then he'd spend the rest of the night kissing him and touching him and whispering in his ear, telling Severus how much he loved and needed him.

Severus' body would crumble under the animagus' touch and he'd hate every second of it. How Sirius could still make him gasp and groan even after everything he's done. He'd feel dirty and disgusting when Sirius made him say his name, because in those moments he'd wonder what his beloved husband said when he was with _'them'_.

Did he kiss and touch them the same way? Whisper all the things he whispers to Severus and use the same tricks on them that he uses to the slytherin.

All of these thoughts would settle in his mind and he'd suddenly feel no better than any of those cheap sluts that Sirius chooses to bed. So he'd push Sirius away and lock himself away in his study, forcing down the tears he's cried so many times as he tried to distract himself by brewing a potion or having Kreacher make him some tea.

It's nights like those that Severus wishes that Sirius could just stay away.

The same way he'd wished just last night.

Sirius had come home earlier than usual and almost immediately started showering his husband with unwanted affection. Severus felt what little part of his heart that was left break when the animagus tucked his head on the side of his neck, reaching all those little spots that they'd discovered in their days back at Hogwarts.

Sirius had told him how much he loved and needed him and that's when Severus chose to push him away.

He couldn't take another night of self-loathing depression so he got up got dressed and floo'd over to Lily's cottage.

Needless to say the auburn haired witch was not pleased with the condition that Severus was in and begged him to tell her what was wrong. Despite all their honesty that was one thing Severus never talked about with her, so he just took a deep breath and told her that he'd give her suggestion to go out a try. Effectively distracting his best friend long enough to at least forget the incident for now.

Of course now he's starting to wish that he'd just gone up to his study like he usually does instead of giving himself over to the mercy of Lily.

Things had started off fine.

After transfiguring Severus' clothing into something that Lilian had deemed more appropriate, which consisted of a button down black shirt, ridiculously tight jeans and a black jacket. The witch had non-too gently grabbed Severus by the waist and apparated both of them to a muggle bar in the heart of London.

It didn't seem to bad at first glance and Severus had planned on getting a drink and brooding in a dark corner somewhere when he made the horrific discovery of finding out that it was a gay bar.

Severus groaned as he thought of all the groping, staring and less than subtle flirting he had to endure from drunken men and even women alike.

One man had even had the audacity to grab his ass and say.

_"How about you and I go to the back and I take this out for a little ride."_

Severus has never been more enraged before in his life, thankfully no aurors picked up on the incarcerous hex he'd thrown at the man before he locked him in a bathroom stall.

And even if they did, it really wouldn't matter since the charm would fade away in two hours...

More or less.

Fortunately or maybe not so fortunately that wasn't the only place they were set to visit that night, so Lily dragged him off an hour later just so they could visit one corner of hell after another.

It was absolutely terrible.

Well maybe not completely terrible.

There was one bar where Severus could admit to having just a bit of fun.

It was a place called Mystique.

A wizard bar that carried a special ward that protected it from the curious eyes of muggles and muggle authorities.

The club carried a strangely alluring dark shadows theme where the bar's occupants were required to wear masks at all times and only use alias' when speaking to one another. Severus had stood to the side watching as the clubs occupants danced under the brightly coloured lights and others did only Merlin knows what among the many dark corners provided by the enchanted mist and long slanted curtains that fell around the large room, when a voice suddenly spoke up behind him.

A man presumably around his age smiled from behind the frame of a mask that looked like that muggle play Lily had taken him to once, the phantom of the opera.

Eyes twinkling with dark desire had stared back at him and a voice that could quite possibly rival his own in pitch spoke. To Severus' complete surprise this one wasn't a total and complete utter moron. He was actually quite charming if not a little crude and he took Severus' scathingly sarcastic remarks like they were merely challenges for the grand prize.

_"Vladimir the Impaler"_ he'd called himself with a wicked grin at the last part, making Severus smirk underneath the single piece of cloth that had obscured his eyes but left the rest of his face exposed. Severus was having quite a bit of fun swapping remarks and the occasional insult, he'd actually started to forget about the drama with Sirius, when Lily arrived all too soon so she could drag him away to the next hell hole and the torture picked up all over again.

They'd only gotten back at around four am since they had to get a taxi cab that could take them back to Lily's cottage, since both were far to drunk to apparate without running the risk of being splinched.

All in all it was an awful night that he wanted to forget and never repeat ever again. Even if he got the chance to see Vladimir again. The hours of harassment and the excruciating hangover just really wasn't worth it.

Severus lifted a shaky hand to rake through his long hair as he thought back to the drunken dream he had before he was forced from his slumber in order to empty his stomach in the toilet. It was a painful memory that Severus just wanted to forget because his heart honestly couldn't take it anymore.

His life is already hard enough as it is without his masochistic mind tormenting him with memories of how good it used to be.

Severus took another deep breath when the scent of bacon, eggs, warm porridge and coffee all drifted into his nose simultaneously and his stomach gave a vicious turn.

Lily was obviously making them breakfast but Severus knew he wouldn't be able to keep anything down if he didn't do something about this nausea, so he opened the mirror cabinet right above the sink where he stood and thanked God that Lily had some of that special pepper-up potion he'd brewed for her a while back.

The potions master slowly reached in and popped the cork on the small vile when a shout came from behind him and something wrapped around his waist, making him flinch back as his head began to throb with a vengeance.

"Auntie Sev!"

Severus' face twisted in pain as he gently pried the nine-year old boy off of his waist and held him a safe distance away.

"What did I say about touching me without warning."

Harry looked up at the older man as a light blush spread over his face and his feet shuffled awkwardly on the foam green tiled floor.

"Not to do it."

Severus took a deep breath as those emerald eyes filled with sadness instantly made him feel terrible. You'd think he would have learned not to look directly in this boy's eyes by now.

But of course Severus won't give in so easily.

"And yet you did it anyway because?"

Harry bit his lip and looked away before bringing his hands up to start twisting in his shirt, "Mum said you were here and you slept over I didn't believe her cause you never used to sleep over before so I came in here and-"

"Momentarily lost your composure for some unfathomable reason." Severus said dryly as he lifted a hand to nurse his head, while Harry just kept his eyes on his feet as he gave a nod. Severus sighed, "It's all right. Just go back to the kitchen and I'll be out shortly."

Harry's head snapped up and he frowned at the pained expression on the older man's face. "Is something wrong auntie Sev, are you hurt? Mum keeps a special potion in the cupboard over there for whenever I'm hurt and-"

"I'm quite aware of that Harry, like I said I need a few moments to myself if you don't mind."

Harry gave a nod but seemed unwilling to leave the room just yet and before Severus could blink the boy was hugging him again.

"It's really nice to see you." Harry mumbled into Severus' shirt before darting out the door with a bright blush on his face.

The older man gave a sigh as he turned back to the sink, and stared down at the potion he'd put on the sink, before quickly grabbing it and drinking it in one gulp. Severus let out a deep breath as he could feel the healing liquid already start to work. A cool sensation ran up his spine straight to his head, making the throbbing pain in his head fade while his stomach's hazardous turning was brought to a halt.

Severus let out a deep moan and let his head fall back, as the potion caused warmth to spread throughout his entire being when he felt something wrap around his waist all over again. The potions master opened his mouth to speak thinking that it was probably just Harry again when he realised that the arms going around his waist were much too large to belong to a nine year old. And unless Harry had some kind of miraculous growth spurt in the last ten seconds the hard chest pressing against his back couldn't possibly belong to Lily's son.

"Good morning auntie Sev." Purred an all too familiar voice and Severus didn't even waste a second before reaching into his pocket to grab his wand, spinning around and hexing the man behind him.

_"Levicorpus!"_

James let out a startled yelp as he was suddenly hoisted up into the air and had to quickly grasp his glasses before they fell off. The hazel eyed man fixed the spectacles and made sure they were on tight before giving the scowling man in front of him a bright smile.

"Isn't it a little early for you to be hexing me?"

"Isn't it a little early for you to be committing sexual harassment." Severus bit back only serving to make James' smile grow even more.

"It's not harassment if you enjoyed it."

"Which I didn't."

"Oh c'mon Severus," James said as he adjusted his glasses, "What kind of man would I be if I just stood here doing nothing with you looking like this and giving such a sexy moan."

Severus' eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare, "One with a working brain, but seeing as you you don't have one of those I suppose you have an excuse for behaving like a complete Neanderthal."

The potions master turned to leave the room when James suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Wait."

"What?" Severus snapped as he pulled his arm from James' grasp only to resist the urge to blink at the look he found in his eyes. Severus felt the urge to take a step back as those hazel eyes seemed to glow with concern as they stared right back at him.

"How... How have you been?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, it just seems like every time I talk to you we're bickering about something but I never...we've never really had a normal conversation have we?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Why on earth would we need to have a normal conversation, we hate hate each other remember?"

"I don't hate you." James said simply staring right into Severus' eyes somehow making him feel vulnerable and making him fold his arms over his chest. "Look I know you're still pissed about everything that happened between us when we were kids, but I was hoping we could bury the hatchet and... I don't know start over."

"Start over?"

"Yes, it has been more than fifteen years Severus."

"Yes, more than fifteen years." Severus kept his face blank while the scepticism could clearly be heard in his voice. "So why suddenly start over now?"

"Why not?" James shrugged which looked very awkward in his upside down position, "I'd say now is as good a time as any. Plus for some reason Harry adores you and I'm not scoring a lot of points with my son with you constantly insulting me."

"You're doing this for Harry?"

"Yes." James answered after a few moments of silence and Severus stared at him in suspicion before glancing back at the doorway and taking a barely audible breath.

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's brilliant!" James said with a bright smile, "Harry's spending the next weekend with me again and I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with us. On Friday."

"What on earth has gotten into-" Severus' eyes widened a bit before he got his face back under control. "You know what, I don't want to know. The answer is no."

The auror frowned, "Why not?"

"When I said _'fine' _I agreed to stop insulting you in front of your son, not to start visiting you like we're the best of friends."

"C'mon Severus, it's just one night."

"No, I'd rather not expose myself to complete idiocy for longer than it's absolutely necessary. I can hardly believe Harry's managed to maintain some form of intelligence as it is."

"I thought you said you'd stop insulting me."

"I said I'd stop insulting you _in front of Harry_." Severus smirked while James glared when something suddenly flashed in his eyes and he grinned.

"Are you absolutely sure there's nothing I could do to change you're mind?"

"Yes, absolutely-"

"Harry!"

Severus blinked as the man called out and watched as the Potter look alike suddenly appeared in the door.

"Dad, why are you upside down?" Harry asked as his head tilted to the side so he could get a better angle on his father's face.

"Never mind that." James said dismissively as he awkwardly grabbed Harry's shoulders and turned him so he was facing Severus before giving a wicked grin. "Auntie Sev said he's going to be joining us for dinner on friday."

Severus blinked in surprise as his eyes moved from James to Harry and he instantly regretted looking into the boy's eyes.

Again.

Emerald green had lit up with absolute joy, while Harry wore a smile so bright it could put the stars to shame.

"Really?!"

"Yes, he'll be coming over to the Potter manor at seven o'clock sharp. Just you, me and him, isn't that right _auntie Sev_?" James said as he grinned at Severus who had a death glare directed at him.

"I-"

"That's great! I can't wait." Harry instantly beamed and quickly moved to give Severus a hug, but the look on the older man's face stopped him short so he settled for a smile, before turning around and dashing down the hall. "Mum! Guess what!"

James watched his son go before looking back and finding Severus glaring at him with barely restrained rage. "Guess I'll see you friday then."

"What's stopping me from not showing up?" Severus asked as he took a step forward and leaned down to pierce the auror in a glare.

"The look of absolute heartache on Harry's face if you don't show."

"Black mail doesn't suit you Potter."

"Really, because I've been told differently." James smirked as he once again readjusted his glasses after giving his head a brief shake as the blood rushing to his head was starting to take effect.

Severus leaned down a bit more and hissed. "You won't get away with this."

James stayed silent for a moment as he stared into the potion masters eyes and giving a smile, "Has anyone ever told you how sexy you look when you're angry?"

Severus blinked at that and before he could move James tilted his head to the side and planted a kiss on the others lips.

Severus' reaction was instant.

One second James was taking in how surprisingly soft Severus' lips felt against his and the next the auror was yelping out in pain as a stinging hex burned all across his face.

"Try that again and I'll make sure Harry is the only child you have!" Severus snarled out as he stomped out of the bathroom leaving an injured James hanging upside down in Lily's guest bathroom.

James groaned in pain and tried to reach his wand when he noticed that the stupid thing had fallen on the floor a while back.

"Apppho waao." The man cursed as the stinging hex had left him without the use of his mouth and therefore unable to reach his wand when a heavy sigh suddenly came from behind him, before Lily stepped out in front of him.

The witch let out a startled gasp when she looked at his face until she covered her own in her hand and groaned.

"You've been harassing him again, haven't you?"

"I wahhsr-"

"Save it, you're lucky he didn't castrate you." Lily said as she reached out to touch him instantly making him flinch back in pain.

**A/N: **

**So James' sudden behaviour will be explained in the next chapter**

**Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: hey hey**

**So in this chapter I wanted to explain why James suddenly wants to make nice with Severus. **

**Thanks for all the reviews, one of them had me laughing really hard. Really made my day.**

**Usual apologies**

**Disclaimer: see previous chapters.**

Remus Lupin.

James watched the man that walked beside him as he ushered him into the drawing room at the Potter manor.

Remus has been his friend since that first day on the train to Hogwarts and James honestly couldn't imagine having a better friend than the werewolf that walked beside him right at that moment.

Of course Sirius always has and probably always will be his best friend and he does take a slightly higher up position on the ladder of friendship, but Remus has always been different.

Lupin is one of the kindest and most gentle people James has ever met in his entire life and the raven haired wizard was grateful to have such a caring and understanding friend by his side.

Lupin has always put others before himself and James has always been a little miffed at that, since he was sure Remus could do better for himself if he was just a little more forceful in getting what he wants.

But alas Lupin was the perfect poster boy for fighting fair and impeccable moral values, so he'd play by the rules. He'd always do what was asked of him and suffer along with the hand that fate had dealt him.

James is well aware of his friend's struggling circumstances.

Remus has never really been well off, even when they were still in school and he was still living with his parents. The Lupin's cared deeply for they're son and always tried to give him the best of what they could afford, but with the strain of clothes and school supplies not to mention the Lupin's valiant efforts to find a cure for their son's lycanthropy. The best they could afford wasn't all that much either.

But they loved their son so as long as he was happy and taken care of then they were happy too.

Now as the years had gone by and both of Lupin's parents had passed on, Remus was struggling quite a bit since the trouble with the full moon always somehow managed to interfere with whatever job he managed to get and he'd soon find himself unemployed.

James had even seen Remus in nothing but rags once and had immediately offered to help his friend in whichever way he could, but the werewolf wouldn't hear of it.

For all his kindness and sincerity, Remus was a gryffindor at heart and gryffindors always look out for their pride.

Remus had kindly refused James' offer, insisting that he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself and going on and on about how this is something he needs to do for himself. So James let him have his way, but never revoked his offer to help out his friend.

Which is why James was so confused.

The last time he saw Remus, the werewolf was not only being evicted from his apartment in a rather shabby part of britain but the man hadn't been able to find a new job for nearly two months, so how is it that he looked so well off now.

James looked his friend over as he walked through the doorway that lead to his drawing room with a frown wondering where on earth Remus could have possibly gotten his clothes from.

Remus was dressed simply enough, a pair of dark blue jeans with a black short sleeved v-neck shirt with a moss green jacket and a pair of black shoes.

Fairly simple and normal enough and James probably would have shrugged it off if it weren't for the fact that he had no doubt that Remus' outfit probably cost more than the werewolf has ever made in his entire life.

The jeans and black shirt carried small symbols on the sides and at the bottom corner of Lupin's shirt. Both of which belonged to muggle brand designer clothes which James knew cost quite a pretty penny. The moss green jacket was obviously made from dragon hide and the black shoes were almost identical in colour and texture to basilisk skin.

How on earth could Lupin afford this?

James watched as his friend stood in the middle of the room as bright light shone in through the large windows, illuminating the entire room and catching the golden gleam of a gold watch on Lupin's wrist.

"I thought you said Harry was here."

"He is," James answered as he walked across the room towards the bottle of firewhiskey that sat on a side table beside a large shelf of books, pouring out two glasses before walking back over to his friends. "He's outside tending to his garden."

Remus' head gave a slight tilt as he took the glass that James offered him. "Garden? I didn't know Harry likes plants."

James gave a sigh as he sank into the large couch in the centre of the room while Lupin sat down on a one seater on the opposite side of a brown coffee table.

"Neither did I. Apparently the last time Lily visited Severus with Harry, he discovered a small herb garden in the back yard so now he wants to grow his own potions ingredients so he can take them to him whenever he needs them." James said as he lifted the glass of whiskey to his lips and took a sip, while Remus just gave a nod of understanding.

"Ah, so he's doing it for _auntie Sev_. That explains it."

"That explains absolutely nothing Remus," James growled as he glared at his glass. "Five years of that boy worshipping the ground that I walk on and then on his sixth birthday, Severus kisses his forehead and suddenly all he ever talks about is his wonderful _auntie Sev_. How the hell did this happen?"

Remus said nothing as he just stared at his friend with amusement while occasionally sipping from his glass while James continued.

"At first I just thought it was sort of cute, but then I wake up this morning to find the floor tracked with mud and grass, because Harry's decided to have a garden of potions ingredients just like auntie Sev. It doesn't make any sense." The raven looked up at his friend with exasperation, "I think he's becoming obsessed."

Remus laughed as he took another gulp of his whiskey letting out a low gasp as the liquid burned his throat for a moment. Before staring down at his glass as his face twisted in thought.

"If you ask me then I think it makes perfect sense."

James looked up at his friend and narrowed his eyes through his glasses as he spoke in a flat tone. "Excuse me?"

Remus looked up and smiled at his friend, "Well, think about it James. When we were younger you and Sirius used to bully Severus terribly, calling him names, playing pranks on him, almost never giving him a days rest. Until Sirius started fancying him in sixth after the whole... You know." Remus paused to give a random gesture with his hand and James could see the guilt that his friend still carried because of what happened that night flash in his eyes for a moment. Before looking up and giving his friend a smile. "He stopped picking on Severus, so Severus would like him back but you never stopped did you?"

James frowned as he looked up at the ceiling in thought. Its true that even after Sirius started swooning of the raven haired slytherin that James never really let up on old Snivellus. Its not that James hated him per say, its just that well...

The stupid prat kept ignoring him and when he did pay James any kind of attention it was usually just so he could insult James in some way.

James can admit that he was quite the arrogant brat when he was younger, so at the time pranking Severus because he dared not see him as the perfect male specimen he thought he was at the time, infuriated him.

That coupled with the fact that Lily, a girl that James considered to be much too pretty to be hanging around the likes of Severus, almost always agreed with the greasy git didn't help much either. Somehow he came up with the logic that if he keeps going at it for a while then Severus would finally see the error of his ways and come crawling to James for forgiveness.

But the stubborn slytherin never did. If anything it made Severus hate him even more, to this day James doesn't think there's another human being Severus loathes more than he loathes him.

But what does any of that have to do with Harry's crush?

"No I didn't, what's your point?"

Remus' smile got wider and his eyes began to twinkle with mischief, "I think Harry's crush on Severus is Merlin's way of punishing you for all the years you tortured Severus."

"What?" James' face twisted into one of utter confusion. "Remus what on earth-"

"Like I said before James, _think about it_." Remus said as he took another sip from his glass. "You teased Severus, but Harry does nothing but praise him. You pranked him but Harry goes out of his way to please him. You hated Severus, but now your son _who's almost identical to you_ in appearance is practically in love with him. If that isn't Karmic justice then I don't know what is."

"Karmic justice?" James frowned at the last word as he went through everything his friend said.

"Its a muggle principle," Remus shrugged, "It suggests that every action you make, will eventually come back some day to haunt you. Like, say I give someone a gift according to Karma someday something good will happen to me because I did something good. But if I hit someone in the face, someday something bad will happen to me because I did something bad. Do you understand?"

James listened carefully as he tried to put it all together, "So you're saying that my son is destined torment me by obsessing on Severus for years, because I used to bully him for years?"

Remus grinned, "Well I don't know if it'll go on for years but-"

"Sweet Merlin Harry is screwed." James groaned as he sank into the couch a little more while Remus laughed.

"It could have been worse James."

"How could it have been worse?"

"Harry could have developed a crush on Pettigrew's heir." Remus remarked and James felt anger boil up in his veins as he thought about the traitor that almost got him and his family killed.

Little rat should be grateful he's in Azkaban and not on the streets where James could make him pay.

The raven's mind was still swimming with millions of murderous thoughts when Remus suddenly spoke again, staring down at the nearly empty glass in his hands.

"You know I never approved of how you treated him."

"What?"

"Severus. I never approved of what you and Sirius used to do to him... What's still being done to him." Remus whispered that last part, but James heard him and his eyebrows furrowed in thought until he was brought back to what Harry had told him just the day before. "He's... once you get to know him and get passed all the sarcastic anger. He's actually quite lovely."

James sat up a bit more as he asked, "And you would know this how?"

Remus smiled as he looked up at his friend. "That's actually the reason I came over today. Dumbledore came to see me at... Well he found me and offered me a job at Hogwarts. He's making me the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, I start teaching classes start in a month."

James beamed as he sat up at the end of his seat, "That's brilliant Moony! Congratulations!"

"Yeah, I'll finally have a proper job. It'll be a relief after so many years." Lupin said with a sigh as he leaned back in his seat, "At first I thought my condition would be a problem, but turns out I won't have to worry about that."

"You won't?" James asked as he finished off his glass before standing up to get a refill.

"Yeah, I'll be spending the full moons in the shrieking shack like when we were younger and best of all Severus offered to brew wolfsbane for me."

"Wait," the raven paused just as he'd taken the glass stopper from the bottle, "He _offered _to make wolfsbane for you?"

Remus looked back at James and gave a small chuckle, "He makes different variations of wolfsbane and has me test them out."

"Oh so he's experimenting on you," James shrugged, "That definitely makes more sense."

Remus laughed again. "He says I'm nothing more than a glorified guinny pig. I don't really mind too much, we started at the beginning of the summer but last month was probably his best batch so far. It was surreal I still felt exactly the same as I am right now, only I was stronger and faster."

"Wow. That sounds intense."

"Yeah, when I take the potion I have to sit with him for three hours to make sure there aren't any side effects. It's quite nice since he holds back a bit and makes his insults more scathingly sarcastic than viciously cruel. I can't thank Severus enough for all his help. It really isn't fair how things are turning out for him." Remus said absently as he finished off his glass.

James caught those words and turned back to face his friend, "And exactly how are things turning out for Severus?"

Lupin's head snapped up to look up at his friend seeming to snap out of some kind of daze and he raked a hand through his sandy coloured hair, "Will Harry be coming in soon? I have to go in ten minutes and I'd like to see him before I go."

"He should be in soon." James said as he narrowed his eyes at the werewolf that was obviously keeping something from him. The raven folded his arms across his chest and watched Remus as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"You know Harry told me something odd when we left Grimmauld place yesterday."

"Oh."

"Yes, I asked Severus about Padfoot when Harry took the unicorn hairs to him and Severus said that Sirius was out on auror business. But that doesn't really make sense since I hadn't heard about anything that might have Sirius working yesterday. And then Harry said that whenever he and Lily visit Severus he gets sad when someone asks him about Sirius, because he's always working even when it's late at night. But that doesn't really make sense does it?"

Remus looked away during James explanation and stared at the wooden floor as he bit his lip, when the raven spoke again.

"Does it make sense to you Moony?"

The werewolf kept his gaze lowered and stayed silent when James spoke again. "Remus what's going on between Sirius and Severus?"

Lupin stayed silent for a moment until he spoke fiddling with the glass in his hands, "You know I never approved of how you and Sirius treated Severus in school."

James gave an exasperated sigh, "Moony-"

Remus cut him off still keeping his eyes on the glass in his hands, "It always seemed like you two got some kind of sick kick out of making him suffer. I remember that look in Sirius' eyes whenever you did something so bad it actually made him cry. It was this strange gleam of fascination whenever he looked at Severus, I knew it wasn't healthy but I never did anything to stop it."

James walked over to the couch as he tried to figure out what Remus was getting at.

"That's why I was so worried when he suddenly claimed to fancy Severus. I thought it was just some new prank to try and hurt him in some way, but then..." Remus paused as his eyebrows furrowed in thought, "Then he changed and he started caring about Severus and took care of him. You saw what he was like, it was like Severus was the centre of his universe. He still loves Severus more than life itself, which is why I can't understand why he's-"

James leaned forward in his seat, "You can't understand why he's what?"

Remus stayed silent until he suddenly stood up and placed his glass on the armrest of the couch where he was sitting as he walked across the room, "Harry's in the garden out back right?"

"Remus-" the raven growled as the other walked out of the room, when Lupin suddenly paused in the door way as he said softly.

"What I can't understand is, why Sirius would spend eight years cheating on the man he'd give his life for."

With that Remus left the room, heading straight for the back half of the Potter manor leaving a James to sit on the couch and stare in shock.

**A/N: okey dokes.**

**Next chapter will hopefully be up sooner.**

**Going into dinner with the Potters and maybe just a teensy tiny bit of action between James and Sev and I'm hoping to include James talking to Sirius so we'll see.**

**Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter was hard. Kept trying to go over the whole James/Sirius thing over and over again in my head. Trying to decided how James would act around Sirius now that he knew and exactly how their confrontation should go. Actually gave myself a headache at some point. **

**But then I decided to keep it simple, there will be a James/Sirius confrontation. But first I want to get the ground work done, so that'll be coming a little later on. **

**Anyway tell me what you think.**

**By the way someone asked me if this was going to be another Snarry.**

**Come now, Harry is a little young for Severus don't you think? Plus this fic won't span over a longer time line than maybe three years at most so I don't see how Severus would fall for a twelve year old. I have decided how it's going to end and well, Severus will end up with someone other than Sirius or James of course.**

**But then I was thinking does he have to end up with anyone at all? It honestly wouldn't change the events that lead up to Sev leaving both James and Sirius. So while I have picked someone to win Sevvie's heart, I could veto that ending and have Sev as the kickass independent potions master he is. I haven't completely decided on that yet.**

**Anyway thanks for all the reviews!**

**Apologies spelling, grammar and OOCness**

**Disclaimer: I own zilch, see previous chapters.**

The night had gone off surprisingly well.

Severus arrived just two hours earlier with that old Snape scowl on his face and a death glare in his eyes, promising James a long and painful death should the auror get on his nerves even if it was just accidentally.

James in turn, had sworn his innocence and promised to be on his best behaviour that entire night. After all this wasn't about him, it was about Harry.

Which was only partly true.

Of course Harry adores Severus and the fact that James had managed to convince the potions master to come over for dinner had scored him some major brownie points with his son. Who was now back to referring to him as his hero, although auntie Sev still holds a slightly higher position than he does. At least it's something.

Much to James' surprise Severus was on his best behaviour as well.

The slytherin head of house had held back on the usual insults and scathing remarks and substituted them for sarcasm which Harry didn't seem to understand all that well but James thinks it's probably best that he doesn't for now.

The boy had all but beamed when Severus first arrived. Making sure to show him his room along with the herb garden he was growing out back, determined to get the older man's approval, which much to James' surprise he did.

Severus had told Harry that he was quite impressed with his initiative and told him that he'd have a bright future ahead of him. Naturally making the boy beam at the praise.

Later they had dinner which much to _Severus' _surprise, James had made himself. The slytherin seemed reluctantly impressed that the head of the Potter house actually lowered himself to the level of elves by completing such a menial task, but apparently James liked to cook and had done it quite often when he and Lily were still married.

Of course Severus was less than willing to eat it, for fear of food poisoning, but eventually he gave in and after a few bites made the comment that his skills were adequate.

Which was as close as he _well done_ as he'll ever get from this man so James took it as such.

Regardless of how well the evening was going so far James was dreading the end, since he'd promised himself that he'd ask Severus about his situation with Sirius before the night was done.

He'd tried to ask Sirius about it while they were at work, but somehow his fate wasn't on his side.

Monday they hadn't really had much of a chance to speak since a dark objects raid in the home of one William Avery had kept them preoccupied. There wasn't really much time to ask Sirius about his husband what with dodging _avada kedavra_'s and various other dark spells of the like.

Tuesday was James' day off, which he spent recovering from a nasty little hex sent his way by Rabastian Lestrange, during a duel on the roof of the Avery manor.

Wednesday was Sirius' day off so James didn't get the chance to see him.

Thursday James actually managed to corner Sirius in his office and ask him how things were going at home. The animagus had just smiled and said that everything was fine going on and on about Severus like he always did as if nothing at all in the world was wrong. James was so utterly baffled, he'd just stood there staring at his friend for what seemed like forever, not even realising when Sirius left the room.

On Friday James had been determined to get some answers. He simply couldn't understand Padfoot's reasoning behind his actions. He loves Severus he obviously does, so then why cheat on him for Merlin only knows how many years?

Unfortunately all hell broke loose in Manchester that day and James didn't get more than a _hello _out before they had to deal with yet another insane death eater crying revenge and death to the light as they shot off random curses and tortured some of the muggles in the area.

In all honesty James is surprised he actually made it back home in time to pick up Harry and get dinner started, but he did.

James plopped back down on the couch as he sat back with his refilled glass of wine while Severus gave a snort at what he referred to as his "utterly horrifying attempt at humour".

Harry had gone off to bed about an hour earlier and in the potions masters typical fashion, Severus had wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as the boy was out of sight. But James still had questions that needed to be answered and since he couldn't get them from Sirius then why not get it from his husband.

It had been quite the difficult task, persuading Severus to stay. The slytherin was already holding the floo powder in his hand and staring at the fire place the moment that Harry had disappeared down the hall to get ready for bed. Luckily James was able to catch Severus' interest by mentioning a spell that Avery had cast during the raid on monday and Severus had been quite interested in finding out the effects it had created.

So James convinced him to stay, went up to tuck Harry into bed before going back down to the living room and offering Severus a drink.

It was a bit awkward at first since neither of them was used to voluntarily spending any kind of time with the other. James tried to hold back on the flirting he'd started doing after he and Lily's divorce and Severus seemed to be holding back on some of his more scathing remarks, but the tension was lifted as the conversation painstakingly moved from dark curses and spells to Lily and Harry.

Then to Remus and the wolfsbane that Severus has been brewing for him. Hogwarts and those dunderheaded students Severus was being forced to teach and eventually down to the horrific night he spent bar crawling with Lily.

It was in the midst of Severus explaining the sheer agony he experienced on the slytherin's night out with his ex-wife that James noticed that Remus was right. Severus is...

Quite lovely when you get the chance to really talk to him.

James noticed how incredibly long and thick the potions master's hair was since they were back in school. It had been a running joke for years, old Snivellus Snape and his greasy hair. But now it looked so much different than it had before.

Back then his hair wasn't the dark curtain of pitch black it was now. His thin skin had filled out some as well, although he was still incredibly pale and his nose was a bit of a distraction. But what really got James for the first time in more than fifteen years were Severus' eyes.

Large onyx spheres that honestly looked like they went on forever and dark thick eyelashes that fanned across his skin when he shut his eyes. Severus is actually quite attractive.

He's never really noticed this before.

Before whenever he'd flirt with Severus it was mostly because he'd learnt that the action would irritate the potions master more than any prank he ever pulled. That and the look of complete annoyance Sirius would give him, was enough to keep James entertained for hours.

He's never seen it before but Severus was incredibly attractive, intelligent, witty. Add a voice that James only just discovered was downright sexy, and Severus Black nee Snape was quite the catch.

What on earth is going through Padfoot's mind?

"I assume Minerva wasn't pleased." James asked as he turned to face the man beside him on the couch.

"She loathed it, spent the entire week interrogating every slytherin student she could get her hands on to find out who did it." Severus said with a smirk, "It was all quite unnecessary really, but you know what they say about a woman scorned."

James gave a snort at that as he lifted his glass and took a sip from the red liquid in it. "Did she ever find out that you were the one that did it?"

"She never asked."

And at that Severus smiled.

An actual real smile that somehow made James' mind fizzle out for just a second as he saw the brief glow that surrounded the potions master's face as he glanced at him, before he stared up at the ceiling with that beautiful smile on his face and James couldn't help but ask.

"Why?"

"What?" Severus asked as he looked back down at the hazel eyed wizard beside him who was staring with an oddly longing look on his face.

"Why is Sirius doing it? It doesn't make any sense." James said as he leaned his head back down on the back of the couch and stared right into Severus' eyes while the other seemed to tense at his husbands name.

"What on earth are you babbling on about now Potter?" Severus growled as he sat up a bit more and took a sip from his glass in an attempt to avoid those brown eyes that were suddenly staring so intently at him.

"I know what's going on, between you and Sirius." James said making Severus tense complete as he stared at the fireplace on the other side of the room while the auror kept staring at the profile of his face, fighting back the urge to brush the long raven hair back behind his ear. "I can't believe I only noticed it a few days ago, even Harry knew something was wrong before I did."

"Your sons intelligence out weighs yours yet again, I can't say I'm surprised." Severus said as he kept his eyes fixed up ahead, "I shudder to think how he might have turned out had he not inherited Lily's mind."

James ignored the insult and just kept staring at Severus in complete silence, when he suddenly spoke again. "When did it start?"

Severus' eyes snapped back towards the auror and he looked like he was going to tell James off, when he suddenly gave a sigh. Looking like he didn't have anymore fight left in him, at least not where this topic was concerned and slumped back into the couch as he stared back up at the ceiling. Letting his eyes trace along the intricate patterns carved out on it.

"I only found out about it about three years after we got married, of course it could have been going on a lot longer than that." Severus said as his expression went blank and he lifted his glass up to his lips to take a sip. "He'd been busy, twice a week for the passed four months. _Death eater raids_ he used to say, but then one morning I went to go wake him up since he'd passed out in the living room after coming home late and I saw a bite mark on the side of his neck along with a strand of blonde hair stuck to his collar."

James grimaced but didn't say a word otherwise as the man continued, "I didn't make a comment about it... I waited for him to come clean and tell me himself, but he never did."

"Would you have forgiven him if he had told you?" The auror said as he moved a bit closer and Severus' head gave a slight tilt before he spoke,

"Without a second thought, of course I would have made him suffer for his indiscretion before hand but I loved him, so yes I would have forgiven him."

"It started happening more frequently, twice a week turned into three and then four. Bite marks turned into nail streaks and hair turned into perfume." Severus said casually as if he wasn't talking about his husband cheating on him. "He'd say he was going to see Lupin and he'd be spending the night with him. Lo and behold, the werewolf would show up two hours later wondering if _Padfoot _was home."

James pulled a face wondering how long Lupin has known about this situation and if he even knew he was being used as an alibi.

"A year later I confronted him about it and he denied it of course, came up with some surprisingly convincing theories for all the late nights, perfume and marks all over his body. Of course I'm not an imbecile, so naturally I didn't believe any of that dribble. That's when I started avoiding him, spending every Christmas and Easter at Hogwarts and locking myself in my study during the summer. Never stopped him from finding me of course, whispering in my ear _'my heart would stop if you ever stopped loving me'_, _'there's no one more perfect in my eyes'_ and every time he said those things I'd always wonder... Does he say it to _them _as well?"

James swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat for some reason before he asked, "Why haven't you left him? Sirius is my mate an all but, you shouldn't be going through all this."

"I can't."

James frowned, "Because you love him?"

"No because I literally _can not_ leave him." Severus said as he looked back to glare at James. "Do you really think I'd force myself through this for a love that died years ago? Do I honestly look like such a pathetic fool that I'd torture myself day in and day out for a man that doesn't seem to care? I haven't left Sirius Orion _bloody _Black because I can't leave him, no matter how much it hurts me to stay."

James sat up a bit more and moved closer as he stared down at Severus' face, the slytherin didn't seem to mind that his personal space was diminishing. Then again he didn't seem to care about much right then.

"Why can't you leave him?"

Severus gave a snort, "Walburga Black."

"Sirius' mum?"

"The very one. She put a subtle little clause in the spell that the minister cast during the ceremony, you know those family magic spells all you pureblood families seem to have. And according to this spell, I can only leave my beloved husband once I've given birth to a child."

"What...that's insane!"

"Mrs. Black has never been referred to as anything but." Severus shrugged as he cleaned off his wine glass and stared at the see through container. "As much as I... As much as it hurts, I'd never dream of bringing an innocent child into this circus I've come to refer to as a marriage. I haven't even let Sirius get that far in years."

"But-" James stopped himself short as he pursed his lips together in thought, "Isn't there anything you could-"

"I've gone through every spell, every archive and every ancient ruin in the Black magic depository and I couldn't find a single thing. I even went to a law wizard and he praised Walburga for one of the most air tight marital clauses he's seen in his entire life. Believe me when I say there is no way out of this."

"Other than giving birth." James repeated and this time Severus looked up at him with an oddly calculating look in his eyes.

"Potter, despite what you or anyone else might believe, I do not _hate _all children and I'm certainly not willing to put any innocent child let alone my own in this situation."

"I know that. It's obvious with the way you behave around Harry, I was just wondering..."

"Wondering what?" Severus frowned in slight confusion and James couldn't help but think that look made the slytherin look sort of cute especially with that long strand of hair falling right down the middle of his face and before he could stop himself, James reached out and brushed it aside. Severus didn't move just watched as James moved closer.

"That spell, it says you have to give birth to a child."

"And?"

"But it doesn't specify who's child you have to give birth to does it?"

Severus' eyes widened just a bit before they narrowed down at the other, "No I suppose it doesn't."

"And since Sirius hasn't been faithful to you, it stands to reason that you don't necessarily have to be faithful to him does it?"

Onyx eyes narrowed even more and Severus shifted a bit to get some space between them, "What are you getting at Potter?"

"I'm not really sure to be honest." James frowned when his eyes suddenly softened and he leaned forward a bit and stared into Severus' eyes. "You know I've never noticed before but your eyes really are very beautiful."

Severus tensed as the auror kept stared at him and he swallowed before he spoke, "Potter, you're drunk."

"I've only had two glasses, I'm aware of what I'm doing." James moved to close the distance between them when Severus suddenly raised his hands up in front of him to keep the other at arms length.

"Is this your attempt at saving me?" Severus sneered as his eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare, "Playing my knight in shining armour by getting me knocked up and rescuing me from my husband?"

"No, of course not. I wouldn't dream of bringing an innocent child into a war either, I am a father after all." James said as he placed both hands on either side of Severus' head while the other kept him a safe distance away.

"Then what are you attempting to do right now?"

"I'm attempting to kiss you." James said as he pushed forward as much as Severus' arms would allow, "Its been years since you've let Sirius get that far, isn't that what you said?"

"I'm not following my bastard husband's example if that's what you're suggesting." Severus growled out as he tried to ignore the effect the other's closing proximity was having on him.

"You wouldn't be following his example, because unlike him... The only person you'd be with is me."

Severus stayed silent for a moment not believing that he was even considering this ridiculous proposal. "What makes you think I'd even want you to begin with?"

"You mean other than my devastating good looks and charm?" James joked while Severus just smirked.

"What lies Lilian must have told you."

James rolled his eyes before he leaned in and managed to press a kiss to the slytherin's forehead, "Lily loves you."

"Yes well unfortunately she's a woman, I'm not overly fond of that type."

"Harry adores you."

"Harry is underage. Please get to the point Potter."

"And Sirius has hurt you but I... I'll distract you, help you forget the loneliness and pain. I'll take care of you Severus, if you let me."

"Why on earth would you want to?"

"I don't know. I suppose, I've been a bit lonely since Lily left and..." James paused to lick his lips before raking a hand through his hair. "I guess I miss, having someone to take care of. So why not? I can be whatever you need and you can be what I need, if you want to of course."

"I'm married."

"But you're not happy are you?"

Severus stared up into the hazel eyes of his most hated enemy.

He's always hated James Potter never even liked him for that matter. Back in school this imbecile got by on good looks and athletic ability alone, none of which were qualities that Severus found appealing in the least. The only reason that he'd even given into Sirius is because the damn gryffindor was so damn persistent, that he somehow wore _the _Severus Snape down and eventually Severus came to love everything else about Sirius too.

But here is James Potter, handsome and supposedly charming auror and head to the Potter bloodline. Again none of which Severus found all that appealing, sure Potter was handsome but that isn't much to build a relationship on.

But then again he isn't trying to build a relationship with James is he, that's not what's being offered.

What's being offered is different.

James is offering him a distraction, some relief and maybe even a little comfort all of which he's in desperate need of. You could almost call it a trade, James gives him something and he returns the favour. So is what Potter offering him really that horrifying of a proposal, I mean what does he honestly have to lose?

Sirius pretty much took every ounce of dignity he's ever had all he really had left was his pride and even that was held onto by nothing but hope and a prayer.

Slytherin always look out for their pride, but in all honesty what kind of a slytherin would he be if he _didn't _take James up on his offer. Sitting at home like the heartbroken dutiful wife while Sirius goes out and shags anything that moves.

Narcissa and Lucius would be horrified.

So why not try it, at least once.

Severus gave James one more apprehensive look when he suddenly moved up and locked their lips in a kiss. James gave a brief squeak of surprise until he relaxed and leaned down to press his body down against Severus' letting out a moan as the slytherin's soft lips moved against his. Severus wrapped his arms around James' neck while James let his own arms slip down to the potion master's sides, towards the hem of his shirt when a voice suddenly interrupted them.

"Dad?"

The two on the couch instantly pulled apart and quickly tried to right themselves when James looked up and gave a sigh of relief.

Harry stood in the doorway of the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes which thankfully weren't covered with the frame of his glasses. Meaning Harry hadn't seen much if he saw anything at all. Severus seemed to come up with the same conclusion as he was much calmer now, raking a hand through his hair.

"Harry why are you out of bed? Did you have a bad dream?" James asked as he got up off the couch and the boy just shook his head.

"No, I went to get some water but then I saw the light on." The boy seemed to squint as he stared at the other figure on the couch instantly causing a light blush to bloom on his face, "Auntie Sev?! You're still here?"

"Actually I was on my way out." Severus said as he stood up as well and the boy's face fell.

"Oh... you're leaving."

Severus stared at the boy for a moment and gave an exasperated sigh at this poor child's baffling crush on him, "How about I tuck you in, since your father seems to be incapable of doing that properly."

James opened his mouth to protest at the obvious put down when Harry just smiled and nodded vigorously.

"That'd be great!"

"Alright then, off to bed." Severus said as he took hold of the boy's shoulders and turned him around to start walking down the hall and up the stairs. Leaving a slightly disgruntled James behind.

**A/N: yeah.**

**O.k so next chapter (Super excited about that one) we have have tea time with Narcissa Malfoy and what sort of tea time would it be without 'Cissa revealing a shocking secret. Harry meets Draco for the very first time and a rivalry to rival all nine year old rivalries is born. **

**Once that's finished all the ground work will be done and we can finally get to the good stuff!**

**So tell me what you think.**

**Please review.**


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